Entry #4 - El Coco/El Coca

Hush Little Baby...

Coco/Coca/Cuca/Cucuy

A terrifying Boogeyman or woman originally from the Iberian Peninsula.

Catchphrase: “Viva, Morra, eu Como!” (Live, Die, I eat!)

As we enter one of the best months of the year, I could not resist sharing some secrets about El Coco, the shapeshifting boogeyman rumored to have a pumpkin head from the Iberian Peninsula. I call him Coco or Coca depending on how he is presenting. He is also pretty famous in Brazil and Mexico. He gets a bit of a pumpkinhead reputation but strangely enough does not actually have a pumpkinhead.

Believe it or not, carving out pumpkins is not a tradition that originated in America. Way back, in Portugal, children would carve faces into pumpkins, light them up, and impale them with sticks to scare other children. Human children are creepy little things, aren’t they? Terrorizing one another seems to be an important part of their development process. Terror is one of the things that makes human children and monsters so interconnected.

Coco has skin and hair that resembles the outside of a coconut which explains the origins of his name. He also switches genders depending on how he feels inside. When he is in his woman form, the locals call him Coca.

As with many boogeymen or women, parents use the threat of these creatures to scare their children into staying inside at night, behaving, or going to bed when they are told. You think they would spend their time figuring out ways to keep Coco out instead of simply scaring their kids, but parents are creatures I’ve never been able to figure out. Instead of reading a pleasant story before bed, they make up terrifying songs about how Coco will steal the child away if they don’t do exactly what they say.

Here is one such lullaby inspired by Coco sung to poor little babies right before bedtime by their loving parents.

Duérmete niña
Duérmete ya
Que viene el coco
Y te llevará. 

Duérmete niña
Duérmete ya
Que viene el coco
Y te comerá.

Sleep my baby,
Sleep, baby, do!
The Coco is coming
And he will snatch you. 

Sleep my baby,
Sleep, baby, do!
The Coco is coming
And he will eat you.

Not sure how that is supposed to help anyone sleep, let alone a child. I guess it’s good to know that Coco is coming so you can prepare or hide, but not sure how it’s supposed to induce sleep.

Jose de Goya, Que Viene el Coco (Here comes the Coco),1799.

Not every boogey creature steals children, but Coco definitely steals and eats children. He likes the way they taste. I’ve been trying to convince him to stop eating kids, at least go after evil adults like our sweet LoLo (La Llorona) has recently decided to do, but he’s stubborn and refuses. He likes his traditions and habits. He insists the world is infested with humans, and he’s only doing his small part to control the population. He labels humans as an invasive species and is a bit of a zealot about eradication. I can’t really dispute this statement with all the fact-based evidence out there that supports his claim. The real truth is, Coco likes the way children taste best, and he’s not giving that up.

There is another story about another a Coco creature who is a dragon, a separate story from the boogeyman story, but there is a secret that only a few know. I am one of them. That secret is that they are the same creature, both the Coco I love to visit around this time of year. Coco has a strange and extraordinary immortal life cycle that reminds me a bit of the 17-year cicada and the Phoenix.

Cucafera during the "Fiesta Mayor de Santa Tecla" in Tarragona, Spain. Source: ( Public Domain )

Coco possesses the ability to shapeshift into a dragon but only every thousand years, similar to how the 17-year cicadas live underground in their nymph stage until they transform and come to the surface on the 17^th year. Coco’s currently in his grotesque (to humans), come-out-at-night-only, coconut hairy phase. After a 1000 years go by, he will transform into a terrifying she dragon for a season. Coca bursts into flame at the end of it, and the ashes return her to boogeyman form. It’s really gnarly and cool. She does tend to be very visible and eat scores of people in the dragon form.  So, mark your calendars for some epic bloodshed in 2320.

Coco finds the stories about his dragon form liking to eat heads on sticks to be a bit gross. He never eats a head that’s been sitting around or impaled on a dirty stick. He only eats a very fresh skull, right off the neck. He never eats congealed blood. He’s not trying to get mad human disease. Part of the thing with the heads on sticks that is particularly disturbing is how it is not Coco at all. It’s all humans projecting their horrifying natures upon this beast. Iberian Warriors were known to put the heads of their conquered victims on their spears. They did this to terrify their enemies. They then create stories about leaving them there for the dragon, Coco. He has never eaten one of those spiked heads, nor asked for them. So, please do not try to give Coco a head on a stick. He might just eat you out of spite.

This weird little doll I found on the internet is the closest likeness I could find of Coco created by man. Coco is much bigger and more gruesome. He’s truly hard to describe because his body shifts shape constantly. Coco is to be feared and should never be approached in the wild or in captivity. He is real, and only monsters and children can see him. He terrorizes the world wherever people speak Spanish, Portuguese or Galician. There is a pretty accurate map created by horror write J.A. Hernandez called the El Coco Danger Zone Travel guide. Check it out to see if you are are safe or need to lock your doors at night (that won’t help).

Coco is referenced in Don Quixote by Cervantes. He has an episode in the T.V. show, Grimm. George Lopez mentions the monster in his comedy specials. Coco is not as referenced in pop culture as much as some other monsters, but his legacy of terror is known by more people on the planet than many monsters. He’s infamous.

All monsters aren’t misunderstood. Some are exactly as you humans tell in your stories. Humans have gotten many things right about Coco. However, Coco is not evil even though he eats humans. Humans are the ones that turned him into some demonic being to scare children. He just has hunting habits that humans don’t understand, and he will eat you whether you go to bed on time or not. He’s not much for rules. In fact, it’s easier to find you, when you’re right where you’re supposed to be, in bed. He won’t scare you if he can help it. He'll just wait until you’re asleep and swallow you whole. It won’t hurt a bit. However, if you are a bully, he will search you out, and there’s nowhere you will be able to hide. He does not like a bully, especially one who makes fun of other children for their appearance. Because of his own appearance, he has had many personal experiences with this type of mean-spiritedness. He will terrorize that type of bully (horribly) before their death.

There is one thing you regular, non-bully, children can do to make Coco not eat you. Eat and drink lots of pumpkin spice, hang up some cinnamon spiced witch’s brooms, put out a Jack-O-Lantern, and decorate your house for spooky season. He can’t tolerate the stuff and will skip your house out of disgust. He really doesn’t care for the pumpkins.

If you are a bully. There is only one thing you can do. Stop being a bully.

There was a time when Coco didn’t eat humans. It was a very long time ago when he lived in the forest near the ocean and hunted on its shore. He used to mostly eat sea birds and wild pigs. This is the untold story of how Coco got his taste for humans, specifically little ones. It’s called Coco’s Delight and this will be the first time the story has ever been written down.